you kids make me feel so old.

why does everyone feels like a damn child to me?
why do you brats ask to be fed information when it is so easily accessible everywhere
why do you kids whine at every single work that is given to you.

why you poor child so fucking spoilt?

2012?

I hate festive seasons and I hate crowds.

2011 had been fruitful - I mean that's 356 days! Something's bound to happen. I had fun times and I had the bad ones. Then I got tired of being upset and I had more fun times. I grew up and matured, made some friends and lost some. And that sums it up.

Not like it matters to me, but nonetheless happy new year to more laughters and sweat.

Happy birthday

Come to think of it, my 21st birthday this year ain't too bad. I know it's a little late to talk about it now since it was in August. But hey I receive a surprise this morning that is some sort of a belated christmas and birthday present (A Uyii bag i've been eyeing!!! Though the parcel got lost and didn't manage to arrive before Christmas).

On top of that I got my iPhone yesterday - that was a birthday present from my sister. And that is one hell of an expensive present considering that I bought the cheapest phone plan and the phone cost half a thousand. I don't know what luck i'm in.

The parties were nice too. I went clubbing (after a delicious dinner treat at Amici) with a bunch of friends i just met from school and they are one hell of a crazy bunch. There were bottles and bottles of liquor and hard partying after god knows since when was the last time i did that. Sweet. (I know I know this is like boring and done to death but it's the crowd that counts you know)

Hard partying aside, I had the usual buy-cake-and-celebrate thing at home like every other year which was sort of nice. I had dinner at a friend's place and they cooked for me just like any other day. (when hanging out together we ain't really the birthday kind of people you see, but I like that.)

On top of that, I caught up with two close friends from poly on the actual day itself which was nice too - it was really sudden because I only ask to meet on the day itself (I've never spent my birthday on the actual day with them) and still they rush down, one of then gave me a dinner treat and the other still managed to make a card for me!

I an not much of a birthday person seriously but my 21st was really kind of nice. Not too bad eh.

Bye bye uncle.

My uncle passed away yesterday afternoon after probably a long struggle with cancer which affected his brain and made him behaved like a child.

When I visited him in Seremban few weeks ago he was is such a sorry sight that it felt almost too unreal. He has always been this authoritative character in the family - firm, disciplined and respectable. I wouldn't say I know him very well but that's the impression I gathered from the Chinese New Year visits once a year.

When I saw him that day, he looked so dried up and old. His skin was wrinkly from the sudden lost of meat/fats and was lying on the bed wearing only a tee shirt and diapers with a tube coming out from within that was attached to what seem like a urine pack. He mumbles things like a 3 year old child and occasionally scold the people around him.

I was so taken aback by the sight that the whole visit actually seemed more intriguing than sad.

When we reviewed news that he passed away yesterday, the news did not hit me hard. I wonder if it is because of the distance or the fact that I'm getting my new iPhone hours after his death. In fact all I felt was indifference - just like when my another uncle passed away previously in 2006. (it took me months to feel the sadness set it but that's another long story...)

I felt a slight tinge of melancholy but I wonder if it's my uncle's death or the idea of death itself that makes me feel this way.

Talking about death, I like this phrase from Murakami's book. I wouldn't say that I don't understand the quote or where it is coming from but I wouldn't like the idea of dissecting my dead uncle.

“When people die, I think it’s so neat. … I wish I had a scalpel. I’d cut it open and look inside. Not the corpse … the lump of death. I’m sure there must be something like that. Something round and squishy, like a softball, with a hard little core of dead nerves. I want to take it out a dead person and cut it open and look inside. I always wonder what it’s like. Maybe it’s all hard, like toothpaste dried up inside the tube. That’s it, don’t you think? No, don’t answer. It’s squishy on the outside, and the deeper you go inside, the harder it gets. I want to cut open the skin and take out the squishy stuff, use a scalpel and some kind of spatula to get through it, and the closer you get to the center, the harder the squishy stuff gets, until you reach this tiny core. It’s sooo tiny, like a tiny ball bearing, and really hard. It must be like that, don’t you think?”
— May Kasahara (in The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami)


Rest in peace uncle.

Sometimes i feel lonely.
But, that is not to be mistaken as wanting care from him.
What we used to have is really nice but that is something of the past.
We are over - that i am absolutely sure.

its not that awkward talking to him after all.

i'm leaving for msia in 2 days time.

and he's been asking to meet up...
i've got to admit, i'm pretty reluctant to see him.

was it because of my determination to move on?
or was it because of how awkward i fear i'll be if i see him?
how did things become so awkward anyway.
we were such best friends.

i don't know if we can still be good friends and move on
i want to move on pretty badly though i don't think that's what he wants

one thing for sure, i've become more independent then i use to be.
that's a good thing.. right?

its 2.44pm in bangkok now.
life here is extremely chill and relaxing.
we are staying over at a friend's friend's apartment for only 5day and 4nights - they've got a balcony where we chill on the hammock drinking and smoking till our lungs burst.
life here is short and sweet indeed.

oh, food is so good, wanton mee downstairs is sex. mango sticky rice's mango is extremely sweet and home cook phad thai is just <3
drinks are good and cheap (beer + juice is <3 <3)
shopping is good too, if i brought more money, I would totally rape chatuchak and siam square and terminal21 (the local independent designers are <3 <3 <3)

Unlike all my previous trips, I didn't use my camera for this trip at all.
not a single photograph. and i liked it
It is refreshing walking along the street empty handed and just soaking in the atmosphere

life is good. for now.

It's monday morning 5am.
I have been packing my room since friday night.
and i'm like only 1/3 done.

I hate packing.
In fact, I shamelessly prefer my room messy.
But I made a deal with my mum and I can't just leave my room like the hell hole it was (which i love).

It takes a long time for me to sort things out,
especially when I spend most of the time contemplating if I should keep it or throw it.

I love keeping rubbish actually.
Then again I love throwing out old stash too.
It makes you feel a lot lighter somehow.

ahh. such contradiction.

I am sorry for being such a lousy person.
I never meant to hurt you like this.
I am sorry.

Why do art/design schools think grades are so important?
This is fucking design school for goodness sake.
tsk.
there's nothing i can do. no matter how much i hate it
only the top 40 students get into vis comm.
period.

my grades aren't that fantastic i know. but hell, vis comm is where i belong.
that's like the only thing i can ever visualise myself doing.

I'm determined to move on. let's not drag it anymore shall we?

I realised that the only reason I really like partying is because i get to hug people. and i really like cuddling.

i've dated a couple of guys.. but this is the first time i've truly fallen out of love, and it doesn't feel good at all.

my heart feels heavy. and i do not like this feeling.

I'm so quitting facebook. it's stopping me from doing everything i need to do. omg.

i skype with my boss during work. how cool is that

the perfection in things

ahh so smoothing...

I've been trying so damn hard to stop procrastinating in everything I do. And I realize procrastination is no longer a habit.

It's like inborn, like a part of my life, like fuck. this is bad.

I've got this really bad habit of always pushing my own values on other people. And somehow I lose a couple of friends because of that. This is bad, I've got to learn to watch myself.

01.01.2011

Hi blogspot! I'm back for the new year ahead!

Tumblr just doesn't cut it. It doesn't make you feel like writing at all! - it somehow became a platform for sharing i guess, nothing more.

Blogspot on the other hand though, still seems to remain as that welcoming channel for ranting.

So, till then, xoxo

tumblr?

tell me about it.

Absolute MUST-WATCH

zouk flea & easy 10 may

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

there's a sticky leech in my class.
what a sucker.

what a killer.

EMBED-Susan Boyle Stuns Crowd with Epic Singing - Watch more free videos

impressive.

more photos!

http://lomotion.20.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=116352




http://lomotion.20.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?p=116358

lazy lazy sundays

To old seletar with canon t50

more:
http://lomotion.20.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=9507

the seed.

The Seed from Johnny Kelly on Vimeo.

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

very very creative.


Slagsmålsklubben - Sponsored by destiny from Tomas Nilsson on Vimeo.

O M G

I GOT INTO MARCOM.

ha.

I cant believe i hadnt curse at that asshole yet.

putting that aside,

32 songs in 8 minutes.

IT THAT AMAZING OR WHAT

Watch 32 Songs in 8 Minutes and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

he even sang pokemon! funny!

i find it rather ridiculous when i heard news that a chairperson set the meeting time and could not turn up for it.

Interesting Facts 101

1) TGIF if not for that OMG meeting tomorrow

2) i'm starting to seriously love doing my internship, its busy, but its enjoyable.

3) in the media department, my supervisor happens to be from NP BS as well.

4) She could not cope and is looking for an intern, and apparently, she decided to source out one herself.

5) and guess who she emailed?

6) k. p. t.

7) Isn't that interesting?!

8) and if thats not enough, they plan to offer me free lance multi media jobs after i start school

CALL ME LUCKY! :D

3rd DAY!

Life's been good the first two days.
All i did was merely stare at the computer and read straits times or just do some ultra simple data entry or sorting.

well, I thought life was good.
and that internship probably means free easy money.
but guess what.

the shit comes in today.

First, i was asked to help a colleague renew our website.

sounds easy? hell no.

the site hasn't been updated for like 3 freaky years
I dont know what events are going on now
I don't know which information is outdated

Reseach has to be done.
its crazy how many information you have to digest.

And soon, i was suddenly asked to join a meeting regarding an upcoming event.
It was so ultimately tense when you are on the same meeting table facing 3 other colleagues.
Not just ordinary colleagues but staff from the HIGHER MANAGEMENT.

basically, my boss' boss' boss' bosses.
hell was it stressful.

and i joined like what? half way through the meeting
and i'm already task to do some catogorizing of information and various ways of calculations.

and i have to do it all from scrap raw datas!!!!

whats worst, i was asked to do up a powerpoint for the board meeting.

like o m g this is my what? 3rd day?

do up presentation for BOARD MEETING?
ALL BY MYSELF?
O M G HELL AM I STRESSED.

so much things to do!

and when you are lost,
you can't consult your bosses like you consult your tutors in np!
they arent as free to entertain you!

i mean yes, we can consult them. but not like every 5 min which is what i really need

as if these shits are not enough to keep me busy,
colleagues have beem swarming to my deck asking help in word, excel, ppt, and even access!
(like i know access seriously)

Note: They basically treated me like a skilled full time worker.

i know i know. i will learn alot

i wont deny that.

but its the holidays :(

i dont mind just doing simple data entry you know.

Internship. First. Day!

at last.
i was put under the media department
and guess what,
my supervisor isnt in today.

someone of a much higher position (whoever that is) asked me to read the company's websites and company magazines to familiarize myself.
and it lasted me for like zomg 4.5hours.
no jobs called for me.
how boring is that.

the lunch break saved me though.

nice people i met there.
friendly aunties and some funny temp staff

and thank god after my break, a colleague saved me from the hideous staring at the computer screen and magazine!

she asked me to staple some documents!

the number of letters and vouchers were apprently suppose to tally

and ha, 9 vouchers went missing (each worth $50 ok)

i double checked,
triple checked.

and still 9 was missing.

D:

and then its 6pm.

we shall see what happens tmr

when i first glance at the letter from school, i thought i was going to be fulfilling my internship in a community center.
but guess what, i will be working in that huge ass building there.

haha i'm surprised.

p.s. picture credited to streetdirectory

morning goodness :)

this is so retarded its funny

Under The Bridge: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

For your Daily Dose of amazing french animation

i said it every sem and i'm gonna say it again..

ITS OVER!!!!

O-V-E-R!

guilt free games and gulit free videos here i come!!!!

cheers for awesome animation and interesting videos

The Crab Revolution! (super cute)


Bat For Lashes - Whats a Girl To Do
(I seriously wonder how the animal heads came out from behind the girl.)


SO ANGRY! marcus only found this after econs paper!

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.